Saturday, April 9, 2011

Why can't they be normal like me?

Top Line (bottom line first): We assume that other people think/process information/make decisions like we do.  We couldn't be more wrong.

Years ago, in a attempt to understand someone's crazy behavior, I went on a quest to learn about why people do the things they do. On it I discovered the 4 temperaments, as described by Keirsey in his book "Please Understand Me II". Information about these is available on the internet.  The important point is this:

We assume we know why other people act like they do.  We don't.
We assume other people think like us.  They don't.
We assume we can change them. We can't.

For example:

  • Some people make their decisions based on data, and some make their decisions based on personal values (facts be damned, this is important to me).
  • Some people think linearly (a...b...c...d...) and some think 3-dimensionally (a...b...jump to m... back to k... over to z).

And those are just two variables.

One of the most important things I have learned is that when I'm talking to people, it helps if I know what temperament they are.  It's like having a map.  With that information, I know better where they are coming from and how to translate what they are saying into what they mean.

During this time of Arab Spring - when people moving toward freedom are butting up against people resisting that movement - it would help if those seeking freedom knew about temperaments so they could better understand the whys and wherefores of the resistance that probably baffles them.

I mean, seriously, why would normal people not want freedom... right?

Fundamentalists For Dummies

Top Line (bottom line first): 3 things to know about religious fundamentalists - how they tick and how the Universe conspires against them.


This blog was conceived after a tweet-versation between me and a secular humanist Arab who I thought was a woman (darn avatars) but now I think is a man but that is not important.  What brought us together was our shared frustration with fundamentilsts and fundamentalism, and our compassion for people who suffer from fundamentalism, which is mostly non-fundamentalists.


The 140 character constraint of tweets forced me to distill my points into point-lets... which are now further refined to the top 3 things everyone should know about fundamentalists:


1. Fundamentalists see everything in black/white - they don't do well with shades of gray.
2. Fundamentalists are uncomfortable in chaos and uncertainty, so look to ever-more-rigid structures to reduce their inner anxiety, which leads to...
3. Control!!  Fundamentalists seek to control as much of life as they can - even going into controlling the afterlife ("Don't do that or you will burn in hell!). But each new anxiety brings another call for control, so they institute more and more restrictions as they battle their inner fears.

Unfortunately for them (and non-fundamentalists who have to deal with them), the Universe does not cooperate:

1. Life is rarely, if ever, black and white.  Though opposites exist to define the black/white, we live in the tension between them.  And even when we find each other at the same point, that point can be perceived in a multitude of ways depending on the perceiver.

2. Chaos happens.  By trying to protect ourselves against our fears by building higher moral walls and more restrictive behavioral edicts, we pay a heavy price - every brick of fear that goes into those fortifications is extracted from the love that lives in our free spirits.

3. Life will not be controlled - and the afterlife is a mystery (anything heard to the contrary is just rumor).  "Let go and let God" is not just another way of saying "whatever" - it's a spiritual principle.  It reminds us that those who really trust God don't need to try to do so much of God's work on earth controlling and corralling God's people and (more and more lately) tsk-tsking them literally to death!  Ironically, those who seem most certain in God's existence and power are least trusting that God can do God's job (maybe they are scared he won't do it right).

In summary: Fundamentalists, in taking the fluidity and spirituality out of religion and making it all dry and gritty Rules and Regulations, create a kind of Hell-lite right here on Earth.  They think they created an oasis that refreshes and rejuvenates and is full of life and growth - but it's a mirage.  What is actually there is a desolate rocky place of scorekeeping, spying, shame, paranoia and the slow parched death of the human spirit.


Brains: Liberal v Conservative

Top Line (bottom line first): You can't assume others think like you - know the differences to be more effective.

Liberal Brains Bigger in Areas of Complexity; Conservative Brains Bigger in Areas of Fear

Excerpt:
This is going to sound sort of obvious, but here we go: A study from University College London published this week in Current Biology has discovered that there are actually differences in the brains of liberals and conservatives. Specifically, liberals' brains tend to be bigger in the area that deals with processing complex ideas and situations, while conservatives' brains are bigger in the area that processes fear.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2seVal/www.good.is/post/liberal-brains-bigger-in-areas-of-complexity-conservative-brains-bigger-in-areas-of-fear/

Egypt Army - Allegations of Abuse

Two months on from the revolution, Channel 4 News hears powerful allegations of torture, arbitrary detention and sham trials by the Egyptian armed forces once hailed as heroes.

link to article
http://www.channel4.com/news/egypt-after-the-revolution-allegations-of-military-abuse

Lessons from the Tali-Party (#1)

Top Line (bottom line first): Be careful what you wish for, Tali-Party.  You may not like where it leads.

Who: The Tali-Party is what I call the hardcore right-wing Christian conservatives in the US.  Some of them are Tea Party members, but many aren't.  Tali-Party folks are interested in getting everyone to live by their rules - rules which they often don't follow themselves (mostly involving sex).  This disconnect between espoused Morality and actual Behavior is as obvious to others as it is invisible to them.  Part of the rigid nature of their mindset comes with a large serving of denial garnished with an inability/unwillingness to be self-reflective.  If they were to examine their own behavior with a critical eye, it would be an uncomfortable challenge to their Black-and-White thinking.  This results in them often embodying the person who focuses on the speck in someone else's eye while ignoring the log in their own. (1)

What: Tali-Partiers want to codify their Christian beliefs into society's laws.  Recently, pharmacists were given permission NOT to sell drugs they did not "believe" in, specifically Plan B (2,3,4).  This is heralded as a victory by the Tali-Party, but methinks they are missing the bigger picture.

Why: The "Big Picture" they are missing is that every time they get one of their Christian religious beliefs codified into society's laws, they set a precedent and open the door for OTHER religious beliefs to be so codified.  (Repeat after me... Sharia.) The mere thought of Sharia law is anathema to them, but if it ever happens they will have to acknowledge their complicity.  Because US Supreme Court will have to rule on the principle of "what's good for the Christian goose is good for the Muslim gander".

So Tali-Party beware - lest you cook your own goose.

* * * *

Sources:
1. Matthew 7:5 (yes, I can Google search Bible quotes)
2. http://www.sj-r.com/state/x675820054/Judge-says-pharmacists-can-refuse-to-dispense-morning-after-pills
3. http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2011-04-07-birth_control_religion_06_ST_N.htm?csp=34news
4. http://www.greenfieldreporter.com/view/story/1580ecaf1e8c4a379004ee418bd82e2a/MO-XGR--Morning-After-Pill/

Sunlight - the best disinfectant

For Freedom to become a reality - and for Freedom to stay alive once born - the People need to know what is going on around them and in the places of Power.

Because the news media is not FREE to speak the truth in so many parts of the world - and because it mostly doesn't CHOOSE to speak the truth in the US - God/Allah bless the tweeters and social media citizen journalists who are working so hard to shed some sunlight wherever they can.

Because of them and other forms of social media, I feel the sun in this Arab Spring.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Martyr Quilts - a crazy(?) idea


Top Line (the bottom line first):
  • AIDS quilt
  • Remember the Martyrs

AIDS quilt: Back in the day when AIDS was still becoming a major issue in the US, one of the tools that was used to communicate the urgency and seriousness of the problem was the AIDS quilt - made of individual squares, each representing someone who had died of the disease.  It traveled the US and touched the hearts and minds of many.

Remembering the Martyrs: It's been shown that the descendants of those who fought and sacrificed for freedom - those who have the gift granted to them without sacrificing for it themselves - undervalue that freedom and the responsibilities that go with it. Memory of the sacrifices made fade over time.

Idea - Make Martyr Quilts
I hope this is not cultural a total mess - but my idea is to make quilts that are made of squares - some or all of which have names of martyrs upon them.  There could be one name or many.  They could have names from martyrs of many countries, many times - or just one country and one time.  They could be used as blankets or hung as decorative objects.  There could even be a traveling one made to go from country to country, like the AIDS quilt traveled from place to place to show - in a tangible way - the gravity of the deaths and lives touched.

The martyr quilt(s) could be a way to honor those who have paid the ultimate price for freedom.  And it could be a way for people, women especially, to earn some much needed money.  Perhaps we could get fabric donations and women in refugee camps could sew them.  Certainly we can get the names from the social media sources.

Call me crazy - but anything that will honor those who have died and keep their memory alive in a tangible way sounds like a good idea.  And if they help keep people warm and provide income to families struggling in this new world - even more of a gift.